“The people we are in relationship with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors reflecting their beliefs.

So relationship is one of the most powerful tools for growth…if we look honestly at our relationships we can see so much about how we have created them.”   Shakti Gawain, Creative Visualization

“Our time out of relationship is just as important as our time in it. Indeed, it may be said that, when we are alone, we are preparing to be in relationship and, when we are in relationship, we are preparing to be alone. Hopefully, we begin to learn the lesson of our last relationship before we go into a new one. Then we can experience new challenges and grow in new ways.”  Paul Ferrini, Creating A Spiritual Relationship, page 119.

“Coming to completion in relationship is an internal task, not an interactive one. We do the best we can to separate in a dignified and loving way and to support each other in pursuing our new lives. That makes it easier for us to come to completion. But completion itself depends on our willingness to use relationship to move into greater appreciation of and fidelity to who we are and what we need. Then, we don’t betray ourselves in the next relationship.” Paul Ferrini, Creating A Spiritual Relationship, page 120.

“The more clear we get about who we are and what we want in a relationship, the easier it will be for us to be honest with others. That honesty will prevent us from getting involved in relationships with people who are unwilling to respect our experience or to work consciously with the unconscious material that inevitably comes up in a relationship.”  Paul Ferrini, Creating A Spiritual Relationship, page 120.

“He who would know the world

seek first

within his being’s depth;

He who would truly

know himself

develop interest in the world.”

Rudolf Steiner

How to Know Higher Worlds

“But you can significantly reduce the amount of negative judging that you do, and this is a kind of forgiveness that will help to improve the quality of your life dramatically. The first thing to remember about judgments is that they do not alter anything or anyone in the universe. Just because you dislike someone or react negatively toward some behavior does not change the person or the behavior you are judging. I remind you again to keep in mind that when you judge another, you do not define that person, you define yourself. Your judgments only say something about you. They describe your likes and dislikes. They do not define the person being judged. That person is being defined by his or her own thoughts and actions. Once you recognize this, you begin replacing your inclination to judge with acceptance, and this is forgiveness in action.”

“When you accept others, you no longer experience the hurt that goes with judging them. When someone acts in a way you find disagreeable, understand that your hurt, anger, fear, or any strong emotion is how you have chosen to process that person’s behavior. If you are unable or unwilling to notice that emotion and subsequently let go of it, then it is your self that is in need of the attention. That person’s behavior has collided with something unfinished or unacknowledged in your life. Distress at the person’s behavior is your way of avoiding something inside of you. A fine distincion, perhaps, but a very significant one.”

Wayne W. Dyer, You’ll See It When You Believe It, page 276.

“…To do this requires one to have a radical trust in God at work in his life or her life. As we embrace this trust, we find that the very force that shook our world and caused it to collapse around us – the force that we first resisted, then gradually accepted, and now align with – was the force that brought us home to our true Self. We are reminded of the man who said, “I prayed to God when the foundations of my life were being shaken…only to find that it was God that was shaking them!”

“So we begin to trust the ’shakings,’ and we no longer resist the force the crumbles the structure of our life. What we once called a tragedy, we now see as an opportunity for greater freedom, wisdom, and power – not to be feared, but actually welcomed.”

Robert Brumet, Finding Yourself in Transition, Using Life’s Changes for Spiritual Awakening, page 150.

“To hold joy, we may sometimes have to fight for it, we may have to strengthen ourselves and go full-bore, doing battle in whichever ways deem most shrewd. To prepare for siege, we may have to go without many comforts for the duration. We can go without most things for long periods of time, anything almost, but not our joy, not those handmade red shoes.” page 254

“…It is from a poem by Charles Simic and it is the ultimate instruction to us all: ‘He who cannot howl, will not find the pack.’ If you want to re-summon Wild Women, refuse to be captured. With instincts sharpened for balance-jump anywhere you like, howl at will, take what there is, find out all about it, let your eyes show your feelings, look into everything, see what you can see. Dance in red shoes, but make sure they’re the ones you made by hand. I can promise that you will become one vital women.” page 254

Read the story of The Red Shoes in “Self-preservation” on page 215 of Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.

“We are whole creatures in potential,

and the true purpose of desire is to unfold

that wholeness, to become what we can be.”

Eric Butterworth

Dancing on the rooftops in NYC.

“Strength does not come after one climbs the ladder or the mountain, not after one “makes it” -whatever that “it” represents. Strengthening oneself is essential to the process of striving-especially before and during-as well as after. It is my belief that attention to and devotion to the nature of soul represents the quintessential strength.”

“There is much afoot at any given time that can make a shambles of spirit and soul by attempting to destroy intent, or by pressuring one to forget the important questions; Questions such as, not only what are the pragmatics of a situation, but also “where is the soul in this matter?” One proceeds in life, gains ground, reverses injustice, and stands against the winds, through strength of spirit.”

“This strengthening, whether with words, prayer, contemplation of various kinds, or by other means, comes from a numen, a greatness that rests at the center of the psyche and yet is greater than the whole of the psyche. This numen is entirely accessible, must be attended to and nourished. Its existence, regardless of its many appellations, is an incontrovertible psychic fact.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PH.D., Women Who Run With The Wolves, Myths and Stores of the Wild Woman Archetypes, page 478.

“Thinking, acting, and speaking in a more positive manner affects the conscious mind by making proper changes to the thought process. This influences the brain on a physical level, allowing it to function more effectively with heightened brain activity. Intuition, creativity, and clarity become stronger. Greater amounts of endorphins, including serotonin, are released by the brain and the brain stem into the blood stream. This will give you a sense of aliveness and contentment. In other words, positive thoughts and words create positive feelings within.”  Douglas De Long, Ancient Healing Techniques, page 69 & 70.

“No matter how spiritual you are, there will be times when you are not feeling love. At such times, ask yourself the question “How can I feel love right now?” What you realize as you explore this question is that the only way you can “feel” love is to “think” a loving thought. Loving thoughts lead to the emotional state of feeling love. And out of this positive emotional state actions arise which connect you to others.”  Paul Ferrini, Reflections Of The Christ Mind, Present Day Teachings Of Jesus, page 191

Photo taken by Nicole Wolcott.

“When you really think about it, every cycle of change and period of individuation is about self-discovery. It is an opportunity to reflect, to integrate the past to allow ourselves to grow a little more. Of course, if we shut down when changes come, we don’t grow.  And life is all about growing; life is about becoming more and more of who we are and creating more and more of who we can become.”  page 134

“Letting go of the old and taking hold of the new is an integral part of living a fruitful and fulfilling life. When we hold on instead of letting go, we pay a big price. Mentally, emotionally, and physically we tie ourselves to the past instead of living in the present. Our souls feel stifled and unhappy.”  page 135

“Painful experiences of loss offer us special gifts: a deeper understanding of our soul and our purpose in life, the breaking open of our heart, the awakening of compassion, the mobilizing of courage… I have come to believe that many of us learn our greatest lessons of love through experience of loss. We feel the deep hurt of loss when someone dear to us moves on and we are alone and unsure of what to do next. It is at these moments that the tender hand of God may touch us because we are hurting, no longer captive to the habitual rhythms of our life and therefore more receptive to inner experience and divine guidance.”  page 156

Marilyn C. Barrick, Ph.D, Sacred Psychology Of Change, Life As A Voyage Of Transformation

“You were happy when you grew through puberty into your adolescent body. However, for some reason, today it is difficult to accept you have outgrown a habit, career, relationship, or even your hometown. You hold on, afraid to let go, trying to make it work, subjecting yourself to physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. ” Iyanla Vanzant, Faith In The Valley, Lessons for Women on the Journey to Peace, page 240.

“If life is going to work in your behalf, you must give yourself permission to grow.” Iyanla Vanzant, Faith In The Valley, Lessons for Women on the Journey to Peace, page 240.