“Differences are as important as similarities in a relationship. It’s easy to love people who agree with us and share our values and interests. It’s not so easy to love people who disagree with us and have very different values and interests. To do this, we must love unconditionally. Our love must be based on acceptance, not on agreement.”  page 57

“Honest, non-blaming communication is necessary on a regular basis in a relationship. The essence of communication is listening. First we must listen to our thoughts and feelings and take responsibility for them before we can express them to others. Then, once we have expressed how we think and feel in a non-blaming way to others, we need to listen to how others think and feel. At least to two thirds of all helpful communication involves listening.”

“There are two ways to listen. One is with judgment; the other is without judgment. When we listen with judgment, we don’t really hear. It doesn’t matter whether we are listening to another or ourselves. In either case, judgment prevents us from hearing what is being thought or felt”.

“”Only when we accept the content of what we think or feel or what others think and feel can we really hear what is being said. Without acceptance, listening doesn’t happen.”  page 68 & 69

“But to come into this dialog each person must be willing to take responsibility for his or her experience and respect the experience of other people. That means you can no longer make your partner responsible for what you think, feel, or do and your partner can no longer make you responsible for what s/he thinks, feels, or does. S/he must accept your experience as it is and  you must accept his or hers. That is one of the greatest gifts you can give each other.” page 100

Paul Ferrini, Creating A Spiritual Relationship, A Guide to Growth and Happiness for Couples on the Path.